I found out that all you need to write a 12 page paper is adderall and twizzlers
Don't worry about it. I've taken so much Plan B, my uterus is purely for show now.
But I thought everyone had breakup sex?
Our halfway to Halloween party needs to never happen again. There were waaayy too many wasted cartoon characters passed out in my living room this morning...
I smoked a bowl while he ate me out, you need to change your major to match making asap. You are a guru of love.
he was holding the bottle like a running back yelling for security and the national guard as he was being tackled
You don't understand she was in the fountain pretending she was diving for treasure. I couldn't possibly ruin her dreams.
Some guy in lab is humming along to a Sara Barrilles song. Or maybe I'm just hearing the song echoing in his huge, gaping vagina.
Just had Jager bombs for breakfast with her roommate... I do not regret this newfound lesbianism.
We shaved off his eyebrows I'm pretty sure his fiance will be thrilled at the wedding
Nothing says "Good Morning" like Jell-o shots and coffee cakes.
Her rack rivals that of the deer I shot last season. You need to get after that.
I left my panties in the microwave for too long and they caught on fire
Well my summer has already been productive. I partially caused a divorce.
Anyhow. He gives me orgasms and cuddles and buys me dinner and alcohol. Ill keep him around and cross that other girl bridge when we get there ha ha
Randomize
