Partly cloudy chance of praying to the porcelin gods
We dont have to go to dinner or anything gay like that. I just wanna do it.
I absolutely love you.
well..after leaving the bar you handed me your wallet and said you didnt need it cause you were going to find the cash cab and added 'i'll see you on tv'
it looked like a condom graveyard when i woke up. they were everywhere
i have a $600 bill for my ER visit in which they did nothing but suggest to me that i am an alcoholic.
part of it is the fact that im problem drinking, and the other part is my OCD wont let me leave the bottle half-empty.
The dentist just giggled when he accidentally shot water across my face, I can sense how he treats women.
Woke up at 4:30am to my little brother shaking me. Apparently I fell asleep naked on my kitchen table waiting for the toaster to pop. 2 years of college completed and i still havent learned my drinking limit...
how did he go about obtaining bull sperm?
Tomorrow's thirsty thursday is now sponsored by the three time champion, chemisty failure. celebration starts asap.
Seriously. My vagina. Can we talk about it? It's gonna jump off this treadmill and devour my trainer.
took some adderal to make my alochol withdrawl less shitty. now im just concentrating on how badly i need a drink
That's what you get for dating construction workers you meet in tunnels.
trust me, you don't know shame until you're in a peacock costume getting CPR by random dudes
They had like literally all the dildos. It looked like a seance for dick. I left the apartment and haven't been back.
Randomize
