4:12a: just got back to his place now. I don't want to talk about it
yeah worst sex in my life. plus i think her little brother was in the room.
I think I sharted a yagerbomb.
I'm playing with the baby I just found in your kitchen
you tried to do a keg stand and ended up flipping over it and onto the table
blow job with a beer in the shower, I just created the ultimate day spa for dudes
hey got me stoned for the first time when i was 14. there is no bond stronger
I knew us throwing ourselves at him back in the day would pay off. I'm gonna b a divorcees rebound. Score!
Thats alot of pressure.
Just on your vagina. BTW I'm passing your house.
Come on there are only so many drink coaster sizes nipples in the world
Not yoga, whiskey. Totally mis-typed whiskey.
So shaving my butt whilst humming "be prepared" is now in my top five weirdest Friday night activities.
All I remember is grabbing a random guys dick at the bar and him just saying thank you and us taking a shot together
I'm just impressed that you can puke without losing your gum
My vibrator broke.
Dude it's been less than twelve hours. Did you sleep?
Don't worry about that. I need a new vibrator.
Randomize
