Just proof I should've brought the airhorn with me to class.
What happened to him?
He was walking right behind us then disappeared.. turns out he checked his luggage at a night club, continued to drink and dance, then slept on the 4th floor of some museum
Yeah someone just put a trash bag that says "use protection" on the snow penis
I'm hoping he'll tell everyone how great in bed I am. Well, how great in bathroom floor I am.
I'm tired of stuffing my fat into a slutty costume. Next year let's go as homeless girls. Cute ones. In leggings with camel toe.
First thought today, I need a ventriloquist dummy that looks like me. This week's project has been determined.
I was in the library and saw 2 dudes hackysacking in a study room with 3 girls working. I asked if I could join; as soon as I closed the door the chicks offered me tequila shots. study session w/everyone cancelled, I'm busy.
Last time I sleep with a guy with a penchant to fragrance his dick. Every time I sit to pee, I get a whiff of Axe body spray.
of course we have a beer bong
how else would we feed our christmas tree
I am alternating between eating dry cheerios and mint chocolate chip ice cream with a fork. Please love me because no one else will
Circle jerk is a real thing. It looks like five innocent virgins in a closet at my brother's bar mitzvah. Yeah, I walked in on that.
He asked me the next morning if he fell asleep inside of me. Drunk is an understatement.
who knew magic tricks and sex would actually go together?
Stupid adulating
Yeah it sucks, but at least I can buy wine so it all comes out in the wash
I went to smoke a bowl and realized that my lighter is out and there's still frozen blueberries in my bong... I need to reevaluate my life...
Randomize
