He's still on the phone with him. This is unnatural. Dudes don't call other dudes just to talk.
So there is a chick dressed up in a vagina costume handing out free condoms next to the dude handing out free Bibles and preaching about sin. I love college.
we saw a llama on the side of the road. That's when we knew everything was going to be alright.
Well yea but it's the principle of the thing.. The fact that he could actually BE your daddy
There is a limo involved. Man up, and make yourself puke. Its only one more night of blacking out.
Her inability to understand the word "moderation" is the achille's heel of an otherwise perfect human
The best part about being single is knowing how much everyone secretly creeps behind their gf/bfs back. You wouldn't believe..Have a great date night!
Dear lord though. So much glitter. It's just a big gay explosion and all of my whore muscles hurt.
I JUST MADE OUT WITH A BRITISH SOCCER PLAYER. LONG LIVE THE QUEEN. GOD BLESS THAT COUNTRY.
Can I borrow you for, like, thirty minutes so you can lay on one boob and rub the other until I fall asleep?
Wanna shave the hair on my back? If you're offended I was joking, if not I'll bring booze and maybe you can do other regions too.
Goddamn it. Hes got me addicted to his penis
Thanks for reminding me of all the hookups my brain has been trying to suppress...
That's what friends are foooooooor!
Dipping my sugar cookies in a glass of fireball and creme soda. This is holiday spirit
Like every two minutes he would pull out and whipser "don't you do it, you bastard" while looking at his penis. His new name in my phone is 'penis whisperer'
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