The worst thing that has ever happened to me happened today. I was taking donations at goodwill and someone donated a clearly used vibrator
Just found out its our ciliated mucous membrane that traps the molly when we snort it. Biology does relate to life
It's a self-perpetuating puke chain.
get over here soon, theyre throwing bbeers at us from the roof. keyword : throwing
I am omw to AA Fellowship by the sea w Jenny and a stripper who just paid for our jetski with 85 $1 bills
We passed my parents while I was giving him road head...that awkward
You were asking her how her mother would feel if y'all dated, etc. And I was yelling at you your girlfriends name over and over again in between gags and sobs.
DON'T YOU TELL ME I HAVE HERPES ON MY BIRTHDAY. THAT IS MOST DEFINITELY NOT A HAPPY BIRTHDAY.
I know now that the cab driver can get me a 10 dollar blow job. I'm practically a local.
I was angry that a college kid had a new Audi
so I peed on it
I have a 30 pack and enough condoms to last until tomorrow morning. Have Mystery Science Theater 3000 ready. I'm on my way over.
So I definitely tried to pay a cab with baseball tickets last night
FUCK the WHO, FUCK cancer, I'm gonna eat fucking bacon.
He apologized for cumming on my leg, but not for ghosting me for 3 weeks before :(
Plus you get to call him out on being a dick. It's more satisfying than ever sex I've ever had.
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