Don't interrupt me, I have a limited time to be high and thus be remarkably good at Pac Man
Why would you say my penis is small in front of so many people?
Dude, you posted a cap of a porn to survey if it looked like me. That's pretty certifiably creepy.
i just got the best bj of my life in the pastors office at church.. Youre right jesus really does love me.
mom and dad sent me an easter basket full of beer pong supplies again.
I have teeth marks. Like distinct upper and lower jaw.
Yeah me too. My shoulder looks rabid.
Get here now. This is going to be possibly my most dangerous idea ever, and I'm the guy who challenged a hobo to a breakdance fight.
Well the strippers have danced to goo goo dolls and green day, time of your life. Were all gonna commit suicide.
This election needs to be over, im tired of girls asking who im going to vote for mid hookup
She told me she's into girls now. I told her there would be a full bottle of j�ger and an empty bed here Friday.
It's like they're playing jeopardy and the category is "things that make women dry."
We were having margaritas and I was saying "back when I was drinking..." They looked all confused. Then I realized "holy shit they think THIS is drinking?"
EX BOYFRIEND'S TWINS WERE BORN TODAY. THIS CALLS FOR A MARG.
Do I masturbate or eat a pound of matazah. Alissa help what do I do??
Omg I joined a choir last night...
Randomize
