we were just talking about designated drivers and i suggested we each hire a mexican day laborer to give us piggy back rides... i have the best ideas eveeer
My husband just tried to seduce me by saying we can do it doggystyle so you can watch tv
When I was her age, Pluto was still a planet... but i said what the hell
proudest moment: just made a guy walk into a parked car with his mouth hanging open cause of the shirt im wearing.
I think jizz is working it's way to becoming my number 1 food source.
she requested me as her brother on facebook.... biggest. letdown. ever.
I almost masterbated to the avatar love scene ha it was so hot
Idk, it's Grover wearing a sombrero. Do I need a reason?
If the EMT's ask later... I had 5 hour energy for breakfast and Four Loko for dinner... It might be important for them to know that
Just had to throw up on the floor of my car during traffic on the way to work. Car next to me saw both times. Found the downside to having a job right after graduation.
We just taught the Brazilian how to smoke out of a vuvuzela.
He hasn't texted me back since last week when we sexted. I think telling him I wanted to choke him with chains was a bit much for our first time.
Just scratched my head and I basically rained glitter.
I was eating leftover taco bell in bed at 3 in the afternoon. I can't throw any stones
Is it sad that my idea of a quality foursome would involve one person eating me out while the other two rub my feet?
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