New word for getting laid so we don't sound like whores in public when we are talking about it : stamp the passport
did you ever find your cell phone? and your dignity?
you refused to leave the drive-thru at mcdonalds until the cashier took a jello shot
maybe next time you shouldn't be drinking alone watching intervention at 3 am and no one would think you needed an intervention.
i want to get drunk and sing the national anthem on your roof again please.
Every time you blow me I should make a paper crane and we'll make them into a chain and hang them from the ceiling. And then whenever we have people over and they ask what the cranes are for I'll say "reminders" and wink at you.
I'm pretty sure "tag teaming" and "looking for stability" are not synonymous.
Not yet.
Trustme, don't ever look up when you're giving road head. It's awkward.
Want to get drunk and look at an xray of my dick?
Correction... Drunk on winter break. There are no days of the week on break.
I mean, unless you wanna just let me lie there while you fuck me and pour water into my mouth
gin. gin. Gin. GIN GIN GINGINFFdJH
GO RIDE HIS EYEBROWS INTO THE SUNSET
Would you be so kind as to inform your husband that my truck is forever cursed by mashed potatoes and it's his fault.
Found my paycheck. It was in the freezer
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