Yah man, that place is surreal
Man, I'm from Tennessee. What the fuck is surreal?
When the moon hits your eye like a big pizza pie, you're a dumbass
She just told me she blew the waiter in the bathroom. Should I still leave a tip?
Bachelor party turned 19 hour search and rescue in the mountains. nbd
We are hot boxing the gondola
I hate everything.
I'm an EMT, not a miracle worker. No, I can't fix your sprained dick.
The best part about passing out on the floor was the fact that when I pissed myself, I didn't piss the bed again.
My dick was almost in plain McDonald's sight
Can you get the drug form of snow for the blizzard this weekend?
So the " I'm gay but curious" thing worked. You owe me 50 bucks.
Can you bring home an IV stand and an empty bag so I can direct inject coffee for work tomorrow morning?
He turned down head in favor of a handjob. Not sure if he's crazy or i have magic hands
just move with us, we wanted to get a dog. youre kind of the same thing..
Well I hate to admit it but at this point I can successfully say i have been pee'd on by both of my roommates.
I didn't think you were that drunk until you were trying to rub your foot on my vag under the table at the thai place.
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