No, I don't think Michelle is a squirter. And if I've had anal sex, the Obamas have.
why didn't you say something constructive like "stop chugging that vodka"?
Girl next to me just ralphed in a bag. Congrats class of 2010
I think all I remember saying is, "I love Chris Berman's voice" and then I passed out
I left him a voicemail saying i went through with the abortion and he texts me back one thing... the bbm "phew" face. really?
Have you resumed life with the rest of the world yet or are you still huddled in the fetal position while wearing compression gear?
Don't make fun of the drunk girl eating bread out of her pockets. I've been that girl.
Only you two could pull off a partner swap with honeymooners
Well. No wine. And no real mixers. I'm using vodka and grape juice and calling it Slurrrlot. Happy Holidays bitch.
Also, thank you for letting me cry in your lap on the bathroom floor. I can't remember if I was clothed at that point, but if I wasn't, extra thank you.
I have to pee in a cup in the morning and they are going to say....you just peed a miller light. I'm going to hang my head in shame and say yes...yes I did.
Ever the responsible adult, I just realized that today is the Obamacare deadline, but I'm too high to handle insurance now.
5 minutes Isn't even long enough to bring me even close to an orgasm. How selfish. Think about baseball and fuck me you idiot.
hey. this is your former cousin. you boned my best friend last night.
Ever look at an ex and wonder...was I drunk that entire relationship??
Yes, yes I do.
Randomize
