Whoa Z and x make the same sound
Anderson Cooper interviews Obama. It's like CNN is teasing and broadcasting my dream 3 way.
We have nothing in common but the sex rocks, would it be awful to develop a drug habit just to have a topic of conversation?
She had a muffin-top while wearing a one piece bathing suit. Thats gotta break one of newton's laws or something
sarcasm needs its own font
I'm quitting my job and I'm just going to become a professional drunk girls mistake.
I swear he shrunk like 2 inches. Remind me that drunk sex needs to remain drunk sex.
But i guess when you use blowjob as a verb you are entitled to some language allowances
Just found out my ex boss was running a whore house in the bar. Time to remove her as a reference?
Let's just say he sent me a picture of his dick and I was more impressed with the collection of video games he had in the background...
You got her pregnant one week before your vasectomy? You couldn't wait one week to cheat on me?
If my neighbors have super loud sex again tonight, I'm going to leave a ball-gag and roll of duct tape in their mail slot.
He wouldn't stop calling me so I sent him a text saying "I'm dead. Dead. Leave me alone." And he replied with "so can I see you then?"
I have someone saved in my phone as "This Hoe Ain'tit' Loyal" and I'm missing my superman boxers. Explain.
Dude. I don't even want cuddles. I just want an acknowledgement that I just had balls in my mouth.
Randomize
