I just woke up and i'm wearing a cape and it says sup slut on my ass
new midget porn idea. Wizard of Jizz: Munchkins Revenge
Still waiting. He said he'd call between 2 and 10... apparently he's like the Comcast of drug dealers.
He told me about his girlfriends trust issues during our post sex spooning
Writing a love song to planned parenthood. what rhymes with "don't have AIDS"
You totally left a blue butt print on our banister
Well I think we can all agree that that's better than then bowl of puke I left last time.
he's doing fine. just headbutted the wall and threw up
Sex in the corn maze.....not as good as advertised.
I don't know how I'm going to know it's her, I only know what she looks like with a wig on
SHE COULD ALREADY BE HERE AND I WOULDN'T EVEN KNOW
It happened again.
What?
I lost in a drinking contest with my 84 year old grandmother. Two years in a row now.
You might have to deal with a coked up ex pan American gold medalist wrestler when you get back to the room
Currently at a bar observing the mating patterns of drunken people in their 60s. This is hilariously terrifying. Hope he has Viagra.
Tonight I learned to never try to impress your ex by dancing on the stripper pole while drunk. That’s how you end up in the ER
I apparently lifted the young child over my head yelling "Victory!" after that last game of pool, right before doing some Girls Just Wanna Have Fun karaoke.
Alone, in the dark, eating tacos and drinking vodka. Who's apartment is this?
Randomize
