I hope you shit your pants in a socially devastating situation.
So one buddy got tackled at the urinals by national guard members and was arrested. Another had sex in a port o potty with possibly the drunkest girl I've ever encountered. The rest of us blacked out and won a few bets. So yes, the derby did meet our expectations.
after we had sex he went grocery shopping. at 6 am. i've never been more confused in my life
answer the phone. i thought i was eating cheese but it was butter. i ate a lot of it.
it never fails, everytime he manages to fuck my earrings out of my ears.
planned ethnic drinking holidays while bored at work thru next may. I don't suppose you have any scots or russian in you?
I have now added draft and wells specials that different bars have to my blackberry calendar.. Help me.
I just commented on the education level of his penis.
And it was in that moment when I realized that these high schoolers looked up to me and that I should set a good example. So I stole a casserole and left.
Dude. Went to buy some jack and sailor Jerry, when the guy at the counter realized it was my birthday everybody in the store including the stoners and the elderly sang to me. Then they gave me shots of moonshine. 21st bday was a success
Had a burrito last night in your honor
That's the nicest thing you've ever done
Was having the best sex dream I've had in a while and only woke up when I heard my grandma fall down the stairs.
Started out playing table tennis then ended up fucking him on the table. Happy cinco de mayo
If my plane goes down do me a favor. Break into my house and get the batman costume and swing out of my bedroom.
My arm is completely dead, never again will i give you a 20 minute hand job. You better have enjoyed that asshole. I have to text with my left hand now.
Randomize
