Are you drinking alone?
no, i'm watching house
That doesn't count.
wtf, then i'm always alone
I'm 99% sure that for 3 hours I thought you were British. We must smoke that again.
Well, I'm eating cake, watching wedding videos of people I don't know, and crying. Clearly I'm a vision of mental health today
we can add 'stealing hydrangeas from the sign in front of the credit union because we're too poor to have all of the flower arrangements professionally done' to my list of maybe-felonies
I projectile vomited in his sisters room where the toiled would have been if it were the bathroom.
This weekend i learned three things 1) skittles in vodka is good 2) it takes more than a roll of quarters to get a cab home 3) never tell a bartender to give you your change in actual change
I can't tell if I have the Pizza Hut shits or beer shits
And we had three hours of crazy sex then his roommate ate pizza off me while I was sleeping.
apparently while i was high i thought that putting a dinosaur temporary tattoo on my inner thigh would keep me from taking my pants off and having sex with him...
...it didn't...
I'm pretty sure our sex is better than most foods and that says a lot too bc I really like food
Really though. It's your life, live it how you want
And I do mostly. Which is why I'm now drunk in my room writing erotica
Tbh.. I hope he still watches our sex tapes so he can be reminded of what he's missing out
i am no longer ashamed when i walk into the dining hall for sunday brunch and i'm greeted with applause for suriving my weekend
i out mim tonsoeep
I drank Dr. Pepper and instant breakfast mix together and threw up sober for the first time.
Randomize
