Last night my friend tried to make out with me in an olive garden. Ahahah
Nothing says 'I love you' like never ending salad and breadsticks
Obama just said the words "we're all in this together." I wanted to start singing high school musical
she is the kim kardashian of front butts
the coke olympics were a bad idea. there's a tree uprooted in the front of my building.
I pretty much gave up on you when you told me you couldn't go home yet b/c you had to stop at church first. It was 2 AM and you insisted you were late for mass.
sarah just described his penis as "like bong-girth." I'm gunna go for it.
After last night, I've decided I will now bang only men who professionally ride things for a living. I will accept jockeys, cowboys, bullriders, and pro bicyclists who lie and say they're bullriders.
Tomorrow's thirsty thursday is now sponsored by the three time champion, chemisty failure. celebration starts asap.
I think I'm still drunk and I think you were in my dream (sadly, it was not a sexual bill murray one).
Breaking a step ladder over someone's back turned into a really fun game, way too quickly.
I said he looked like a lumberjack and that's when he came. I guess he liked the beard compliment?
we need to make pact to not cut each other's hair on coke and whiskey nights.
While I agree, I dont think thats realistically possible
Just spent the morning washing Bailey's and Guiness out of my clothes -_-
I WANT TO JUMP IN TO A VOLCANO
He stood next to me peeing as I was puking behind a car in the parking lot, telling me how much he loved me. On the other hand, he loves me!
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