i feel like im doing the pre-walk of shame..like every car that drives by is like, ooooo look at that girl, in that itty bitty dress, yep shes about to get her skank on tonight...
how does a 20 year old who hasnt gone through puberty yet score the game winning goal? fuck sidney crosby and his small nuts.
Just heard an advertisement for 40 proof chocolate milk. We may never have to grow up
He bought me Ben & Jerrys and then apologized for the fact that he was going to fall asleep before we could have sex
Who are these men, what are we doing here, how is this helping us toward our goals of sex and pasta? Things to consider.
The sense of comroderie I've built with my liver over the course of this semester is beautiful
Who replies to a drunk text at 6am that's like against the rules of being a designated drunk text receiver
Some guy just ate one of the dog treats. I have him a free beer. I love my job.
BUT I think maybe Thursday in celebration of America we should probably tan and see how fast we can finish everything in the liquor cabinet.
I will read books by day and do guys by night. A mental and physical enlightenment, if you will.
I just puke and rallied at my anniversary dinner #winning
He struggled for a second trying to unhook my bra and I said "4/10. Novice."
I remember yelling at him telling him that the strippers were "nice people."
And god said thou shalt never deny free booze. And it was good.
What's the weirdest place you've ever had sex?
I don't think you're psychologically prepared for this conversation.
Randomize
