I learned the names of so many hookups when they read them at graduation
We need to get her some penis inspired head protection.
She's been divorced three times and use to raise cock fighters. Of course I'm interested in her
about to get into a hot tub with three cops. this cant go well
I just won unlimited hot dogs for life. I'm so glad I smoked
When the officer tried to stop you, you just shouted your name in his face. repeatedly.
Ryab! Make hr wtop. Mshe make sme speee. I don want to pee. I want sev. He was so igbad. Redpo.
oh, i've got big weekend plans. on an unrelated note, do you think viagra will work if the guy is roofied?
No I can't cure herpes. I'm an EMT, not Jesus.
Dad, is it in any way illegal for me to run around throwing handfuls of lucky charms at people tomorrow?
you're kidding right?
im going to hold it over his head for all of eternity. when his children are born i am going to go to the hospital as his wife is giving birth and shove the picture in the childs face, so the first time they see their father is in a drunken stupor looking like a jackass.
Whatever you didn't send me pics of you topless making bacon�
I'm so excited for post-beer fest chipotle. It will be better than scared shitless pre-go karting chipotle.
He took a girl home at like eight, fucked her, kicked her out, came back to the bar, and repeated the process again at 10:30 and 2:30. THREE GIRLS IN ONE NIGHT. ALL PICKUPS. I HATE HIM.
Like how do you live your life and have never made a grilled cheese? The audacity of some people
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