i just saw a white kid with an afro using a martini shaker as a coffee thermos. go college.
the dr. explained that the first big patch is called a herald patch since it's biggest. So his name is Harold the Patch.
Wow. You named your rash.
she was most def 27.5% uglier than a troll, but the sex was great
we're doing shots for every degree below freezing it is outside
You weren't a difficult drunk to take care of. I just had to stop you from plunging the toilet once or twice.
I remember pointing out how smooth my legs were to try to direct his attention away from my vagina.
I been sleeping but occasionally wake up feeling like tiny elves are in my throat ripping my esophagus to shreds with their bare hands.
Somehow, you made that sound extremely magical and not at all painful.
If this party got busted it would be an improvement
I'm driving while wearing hulk hands
Note to self: do not ride giant beanbag chair down stairs.
Professor just informed us that she can't come to class today because her daughter broke her glasses and she can not see where she is going. Am I still drunk from this weekend?
to drive Frat boys away, one just needs to cat-call at them. It makes their masculinity weaker, and yours stronger.
I have work in an hour and I'm having trouble with concepts such as 'staying upright' and 'staying conscious'. Tie me to your wrist next time we go out drinking,
Lemme put it this way babe, at point you were naked in Target.
Where were you?
Laughing
I took out a life ins. policy Thursday. It's okay I can die in Nashville now.
Randomize
