PS - I'm in bed with an 18 yr old-am I a cougar?
No - puma.
The guy drove to our house at 6am to sell us weed. Now that's customer service.
You were directing traffic around her for 30min after she passed out in the middle of the road.
You really are best friends.
... was I dreaming when we did coke off of the xbox, or did that really happen?
Pre-drinking/conditioning my liver for this impending hurricane party associated with cat. 2 hurricane Irene. Be ready to roll in a weather channel minute.
It's that moment where you find out the girl you've been dating for 6 months is a mob daughter. Post breakup.
We're super invested in me shitting to my full potential
Talk about having your cake and eating it he has basically demolished the whole fucking bakery
I'm taking a shower and i'm gonna bring my pocketknife with me
if he ever tells me he loves me when we are sober, i am a goner. just fyi.
One of the Mormon boys that comes to the door is really sexy and I always think 'I would absolutely destroy your faith'
I paid for lunch, then he made a bunch of holes in my wall and destroyed my bathroom.
Puking out the window is really hard when you're the one driving.
just found a joint on the street in downtown. smoked it with the hot guy from my chem class
WHAT IS UP WITH YOU SMOKING/ DRINKING THINGS OFF THE GROUND?
I THINK HE DOES. OMG!!!!! OMG I FUCKED A GUY W A FAKE LEG AND I DIDN'T EVEN KNOW!!!!!!????!!!!!!!!!
Randomize
