6:33 AM: I'm drunk at this time of morning.
I can't find my pants or my car
I didn't even hookup I think I took them off at taco bell...
ha omg I always lose my dignity at taco bell as well... so no big deal.
I woke up with a flask of whiskey and a mason jar full of sausage in my tux jacket. south georgia is where i belong
We have a drunk bartender with her nips a quarter inch from bein out buying us shots. GET HERE.
You just said the magic words
The guy is drinking 5 bottles of beer in a juice pitcher. Fucking amazing.
i decided i'll just settle for a gay guy who can manage to fuck me like the straight guys do. but here i go again, talking about my dream man.
Wow! It's so great to hear from you! We all thought you perished in Winepocalypse 2012, man.
Pretty sure at some point last night i said to myself "it'll be fun to completely lose my mind for a night"
I told him no rough stuff and he immediately bit my ass. Who the fuck does that?
it's not rock bottom until you fall down an escalator on the way home from a hookup and have to have you dad come pick your drunkass up at 3am. Adulthood.
The first time he ever tried to hold my hand, I moon walked away.
Wanna get drunk and play candy land? If so you are 2 steps behind.
Okay first of all fuck you and everything you stand for because Taco Bell is amazing.
Sorry, i'm on a strict diet of vodka and regret
Yeah come over whenever. Weed gets here at 8.
I'll be there at 7:59.
Randomize
