After last night's events, I googled "how to change your life direction." I found a really helpful ehow.com article.
ok please explain why some one shaved half of my pubes?
I think I've hugged the toilet more times than I've hugged my own family members.
Call me when your ready for an explanation about the ham in your vagina.
I just got a msg from someone saved in my phone as "gouiys stAndingg nezxt me not oz". Omh my life.
Sorry I forced you to take an adderall at 1am and then proceeded to dance to Lose Yourself outside of Qdoba.
Eating nacho cheese off the carpet. How is your morning?
IT'S LINGERIE PURCHASED FROM A FLEA MARKET, THE ONLY THING IT'S GOING TO BE POSITIVE FOR IS A TEST FOR HIV
How's my date look?
Like a retarded elf
In a good way
I fell asleep masterbating while watching family guy... This is what happens when girl's night gets canceled
I told my boss that I'm in a slutty stage of my life right now and the chef overheard and slipped me his number. I might get laid tonight
My poor liver. I drank enough on NYE to sustain an alcohol addiction for the entirety of 2015.
Not sure what time I'll be home. I'm currently topless and the damn stripper won't give me my clothes back
it was a 'fall asleep on the bathroom floor after puking bc the cold tile is legit more comfortable than your bed' kind of night.
I forgot that I'm high because of how high I am.
Randomize
