the pool opens at 11. by 1115 the ambulance had been called.
you were so drunk you slurred your pauses
is it normal that we went to that class once and both got 100's on the final? ohhhh, arizona state.
I woke up on a raft in a bath tub filled with beer. excellent night.
bottle of wine in one hand cigar in the other. 5 am. topless on our fire escape. and she cleaned our bathroom... i like his new girlfriend.
Just saw all the pictures from the party. I'm wearing a different shirt in every single one.
My mouth feels like I've been chewing on leather and firecrackers for the past 3 days
Called the cops on a high school party then went in after all the kids ran away and took the rest of the beer. What are you doing tonight?
He professed his love for me while I danced on a picnic table with a bottle of Absolut. I said thank you and walked away.
Pretty sure I'm going to hell because of our friendship
Last one there wins
Just got your message from Saturday. Shove all the kittens down your pants? Really?
I was emotionally compromised.
They need to eat meat, go down on me the first time, every time, and know how to pull my hair. And there's a height requirement for this ride
How do I let my trainer know I'm only at the gym so I can get in more intense sex positions?
I’m literally lecturing this class on professionalism, while my body is undoubtably covered in leftover cum from last night. I’m a fucking role model.
You said the best orgasm you ever had, you gave to yourself. your boyfriend looked really disappointed. so did half the room.
Randomize
