you know what sucks? talking to chicks you dont want to have sex with
She bit a glowstick open. Apparently they burn. We bonded while she washed the chemicals out of her mouth as I did double shots of Jager.
Concert was great. Tackled the lead singer. Met him afterwards. He was cool about it.
You slid down the wall and got into the fetal position. He was definitely judging... I was judging....
So you are wearing a heart monitor while drinking?
Yea, they said carry on with my everyday activity.
Just followed a blind kid around for 20 minutes to see how awesome his guide dog was. And he was pretty fucking awesome
Owwww. A manager/ employee sex scandal that DOES NOT involve me! SCORE!!!
you got into a really intense arguement about protecting bees. it was wierdly arousing.
On the bright side, only one more day until we aren't sober anymore.
One of the finest moments in my life was when I was puking in between my legs as I was shitting, and thought to myself "hmm this shall be called shomiting."
Some girls mom just approved of me banging her on Fb.... For the whole world to see.. I'm officially a god.
yeah i wanted to show him what i was missing, so i decided to send him a seductive picture, like the ones where the girls are eating strawberries and whipped cream. well i didn't have those, so i sent him a picture of myself naked eating a bagel
Nice classy night out before we roll our faces off
Thanks. I just smoked a bowl topless so I'm in heaven right now.
1. I drank goldschlager 2. I fell in a bathtub and hit my head (hard) on a soap dish. 2. I sat in said bathtub talking to a random stranger on vacation from wyoming (who i met at a 711 looking for taquitos) for almost an hour. 3. We got kicked out of said bathtub by owner of bathtub. 4. We had sex.
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