it cannot be done, he is unbreakable.
What?
..he cannot be seduced..she had to have roofied him.
Details.
Correction, I've been on a lot of dates and a lot of dicks
It's gotten to the point where even copying off yahoo answers is still way too much work.
I just remembered yelling "they're gonna let me be a lawyer! Me! Why would they do that?"
She referred to her collection of sex toys as an "arsenal." I'm not sure whether to be scared or excited....
Ordered weed last night from the delivery service, and who showed up...my old real estate broker. He said, "this is less stressful." Duh.
I got to the point where it seemed like she had 8 giant breasts instead of just two
I just used my glow stick from the dance to find my way in the bathroom to puke. Who wants me on their corporate team
Like it was the Mama Mia of shit shows. That bad.
How was my weekend? I just blew my nose and a gram of coke fell out. My weekend was fantastic.
I'm using my breathalyzer result sheet as a coaster for my 40.
How bad is it I'm looking at his cock while waiting to see my therapist?
I'm not into beards but apparently my vagina is.
He fucked me while wearing his night time breathing machine mask. Does this mean I joined the dark side and he is Darth Vader?
Fuck you, i'm all jacked up on bananas lets go somewhere
Randomize
