dude ... she has a full length mirror in her shower, don't even tell me shes not dtf
I don't give a shit about soccer but I'm really excited about drinking at 7 in the morning
bottle of wine in one hand cigar in the other. 5 am. topless on our fire escape. and she cleaned our bathroom... i like his new girlfriend.
You kicked in the door when she was blowing him. You dont remember do you?
DO NOT GO IN OUR BATHROOM. it cannot be unseen
He asked me when I was coming to bed while simultaneously drilling a fart into the mattress. Don't fucking get married.
Also he wants to know a casual, consise way to ask a girl in a bar if he could eat her out. Think on that.
That one dude should feel honored if he were to get herpes from you. Fuck that Guy. He is a herpe.
I've been told that their best stripper is on maternity leave. NEVER AGAIN.
All I know is I want him to tie me up at least twice a week and I have an overwhelming urge to cook for him. Could this be love? I'm so confused....
I was weirded out when the chunky goth girl and her boyfriend both started eyeing me and wanted to by me a drink.
He smells like ham and a lifetime of poor choices
So you let the Viking explore your nether regions?
I dropped her off at home and her fiancé was shitty, it was 4:30 am. I told him I was the Uber driver
Not only did I sleep with the guy but I think I may have called my work and quit to go work for him.
Randomize
