sometimes when you bring the thunder you get lost in the storm
9 of the 12 girls i had sex with in college are on facebook
it was an ugly road back then. i'm sure time hasn't been friendly.
I feel like we're taking advantage of the fact that our R.A has cerebal palsey.
You refused to come over and kept yelling that you were gonna sleep on a car
She's been drinking and was roller blading. I'm sure you can do the math
i woke up with my wallet keys and phone missing and a treasure map to find them stapled to my shirt.
haha i know
All I need is the Internet and a place to drink.
I really wasn't that bad. I thought I was pretty tame.
When Anthony passed out you poured vodka on his face
Apparently throwing balloons filled with vodka off the roof is considered terrorism.
Please show REO speedwagon ur boobs for me.
You threw up in a empty pizza box at Pizza Hut and opened the door with your face. So that maybe why it's bruised.
IDK I WAS CAUGHT UP IN THE TEQUILA SHOTS AND FRIENDSHIP
Listen. You dont know how advanced you are in yoga till you have to shave your butthole
You're only young once, and once you get old, you either regret all the sex you had, or you regret not having enough.
Best single mom victory - getting eaten out in my dodge caravan in the hospital parkade at midnight.Three words: screaming multiple orgasms.
Randomize
