That's what you get when you play shuffleboard drunk.
Omg. It looks like a crack pipe exploded in your mouth.
Dude you can sell sperm for 100 to 250 bucks a time. And the best part is there will be kids all over the world that will have me as a daddy. It's like I'm jerking off my way into ruling the world
you gave the police officer your chanel wallet and said 'just keep it the i.d. is fake too'.
so i hit rock bottom, god threw me a shovel. i continued to dig.
shes a baton twirler.. i expected her to be better with her hands.
I'm going to leave the fate of whether I go to my midterms up to my dealer hitting me up or not
And then. You beer bonged 3 tall boys. In a row. Fell into some kids lap. And pulled down my shirt trying to get up. Thank you for that. I got laid
So idk if it's because I'm working out again or the coke, but I hit my target weight today. Whaaaat uuuup. Come and get me thanksgiving.
Pizza delivery...for when you need to eat your feelings for the sex you aren't having
Just saw the german running around on campus. Thought of his small penis.
As you should.
Trust me that one dick you don't want. It's like a whale... That's swam too many oceans...
Because you work where i will be drunk tonight I'm asking you. Is a shirt required on Halloween?
Please tell me those naked pics were not your mom. Lie if you have to.
I'm drunk but I just ate 2 heads of broccoli so does that mean it evens out?
Yes absolutlely
Randomize
