Jon and Kate are totally playing with my emotions.
i mean i care more about their marriage then my own parents
Should I hook up with a slut its your call
Yes. Wrap it. If you dont have a condom do it anyway. YOU ONLY LIVE ONCE.
I don't know whether I should be pissed that there's glitter in my bed or proud that there's semen in there too.
he ate out my asshole, i really don't think he gets embarrassed easily.
Do you think it would be a good idea to mention in my admissions essay that I was the guy that streaked across the soccer field last year?
i just remembered i chipped my tooth last night when i pulled up your pants zipper with my teeth
I think I have vodka in my lungs
yeah, but the first step is admitting you have a problem, the next step is kidnapping him
He is now the second fuck buddy that i have met by walking up and grinding on him. My ass is so much more productive than dating
I usually just read books and meditate to an aquatic soundtrack of sea walrus's mating. But ill choose coors light instead
If you can find a Canadian Lesbian to have pity sex with me, let me know.
This is the guy I made out with and it made me think of my dad. Let's never talk about it again.
Woke up, moved an empty handle of fireball to spit blood, then put the morning cigarette out in it.
Apparently nick called me at 3 in the morning looking for you because you ate your keys and ran away..do I need to call an ambulance.
I bet you my entire life savings of $0 that there's a Doctor Who porn parody and that it features the sonic screwdriver being inserted into some cavities
Randomize
