I wish i could clap on, clap off my penis
coke and sex party at dan's
im watching greys anatomy with megan...
wha-pishhh
I kept waking up & seeing my Goodfellas poster and thinking it was a window with people crammed against it staring at me.
I guess the lighting in my room made it look like they were moving. I remember telling myself that they were watching over me and protecting me from the cops
Who was more unwelcome: The two of us at the party last night, or Kimmy Gibler at the Tanner residence?
It's my fault I'm alone. My closest relationship is with my blackberry....thank god it vibrates.
I lost control in the snow and hit a parked car. I went into our building to get a pen and paper to leave a note and when I came back the car was gone and there was a hot girl there. I used the pen and paper to get her number.
all she had left on were here heels. phone five
just saw a midget ride a motorized cooler into the liquor store. i'm gonna follow him home.
Just wanna let u know that we are almost on the pity blow job level of our friendship.
Besides asking our teacher if he enjoyed being fisted did I have any other tragic moments last night?
he told me he could still feel the blowjob i gave him last year
wow. THAT good huh
Someone wrote "gnarballz" on my fridge in black marker. I'm pissed, but more concerned I slept with the one who did it
Serio, who the fuck falls down coming offstage wearing nothing but pasties, a g-string, and a fake moustache, and now suddenly needs a tetanus shot. Me. That's who.
whoevers yellow car is in your driveway right now... i plan to steal. just an FYI
its like i just tried to scrub the hangover off of me.
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