butt sex is not good for yourself don't do it
Thanks?
I was just about to go down on her when she gave herself a "smell check" and said "no, not today".
We argued about the championship during sex. Absolutely the manliest moment of my life.
Don't take this the wrong way but I just mistook a trash can for you
She took a crow from her moms Halloween decorations, taped it to her shoulder, went to the bar and made the guys buy a drinks for both her and the crow.
I've watched enough of my roommate's imported Japanese satellite to know when the exchange students are calling me a whore.
Our foot and a bit height difference is kinda fun, except she's so tiny that after we ate burritos it looked like she was pregnant. I had a confusing bonner.
I might be the strongest willed bouncer ever. Earlier tonight a girl flashed me trying to get in. I just replied "Sorry I'm gay", she believed me and left.
i wear a size 32DD bra. its basically impossible for me to get a speeding ticket
He started saying the pledge of allegiance so his boner would go down. Merica.
my liver is dry heaving
I'm going to need to invest in some knee pads if I keep having nights like tonight
I mean I made my therapist laugh so hard she cried....so yes, my life is literally a joke to everyone
She played the piano. I played the piano. She got on top of the piano. I got on top of her.
EMERGENCY SUBJECT CHANGE. SHE DOESN'T KNOW.
Randomize
