im naked on webcam to her boyfriend, but im playing neopets at the same time, so its all evened out
And then he said "good night girls" and kissed each one before I put my shirt back on
Her boobs looked like leather oven mitts. No more cougar hunting for awhile.
today he pulled me aside to show me a lawn mower that he drew above his pubes. I saw his pubes in all their glory. Right there. In spanish class. Hola.
It's a long way off yet but I've started planning my eviction party. Be prepared, it includes jungle juice.
That awkward moment when the guy you hooked up on spring break invites you over for dinner to meet his parents and you say yes because the first rule of college is never turn down a free meal.
THE SHIT YOU GET YOURSELF INTO
I feel like this has turned into my work. But if I get paid sitting under a desk, that's perfectly fine with me.
I think my vagina has grown over, not unlike earring holes when not used in a long amount of time.
which one of you assholes put my new jeans down the garbage disposal?!
I have managed to reach the 'after meth poster look' before lunch here...
Also, I would just like to reiterate my apologies for tearing up in the grocery store.
He yearns for your heart.
He needs to stop being a pussy about it.
I literally farted midsex as a siren for him to get the fuck off me.. No such luck.
I totally have a huge crush on him though which is fucking up my "classy she-demon with limited feelings" vibe
Is there any reason why a taxidermic donkey head is in the shower?
Randomize
