I feel like I should come with a warning like "Orgasm free since 1983"
My three rules on what I'm wearing tonight. Something short, something see through, and something i had sex in.
oh my god. separately texting an Allie and an Ally while drunk is hard, and I'm climbed 1/2 way up a bridge pier.
His idea of role playing was him wearing the halloween mitt romney mask while I gave him head
Whenever I see women with terribly drawn on brows, I just wanna tackle them and redo them and run away. I'll be Brow-lady. The beauty superhero
I like to feed my guinea pigs before I get stoned. In case they get contact high and get the munchies. It's only polite.
Less than a month to go... I do not understand how I was able to put up with a roommate who wears bright green Crocs for a year.
My liver needs the occasional pep talk and a reminder that we are two weeks into freshman year of college.
I woke up with what appeared to be LSD in my pocket. Know anything about this?
He finally delivered on the dick pic, and Jesus Christ, it was worth the wait.
Im just an angry damaged little elf who wanders around and tries to find drugs.
When you didn't respond I figured you must be busy so I'm home in my pj's 2 beers in and stoned from weed I got from my gaybours. They also gave me cake. I'm not moving from this recliner.
New drinking game, drink every time Rhianna says "Work" in her new song.
Sooo I ended up ugly crying at the drive thru window at 10 pm last night....how was your valentine's day?
Well what did you order
I don't care how hot she was. She didn't like Scooby Doo and I don't fuck with that.
Randomize
