Oh i forgot. I hit on a mentally challenged girl too.
i dunno what you eat but your cum is all over my underwear and it smells like pretzels
Im watching him eat cream cheese and hot dog buns.
I just took a shower and I feel like 20 pounds of sex just came off of me.
Shots and making dong molds for my gf's friends. Typical Monday night activities.
I love you more than champagne and correct grammar
No, fuck buddies don't get birthday party privledges...
Sorry.
well, I was going to forgive her anyway but not because shes my best friend and moreso because shes my drug dealer
I just passed a truck with its bed lined with a tarp and filled with water with six dudes chilling in the back driving through campus. That looks fun.
GET OVER HERE. HOTTIE ALERT
^^^This is why you should have charged your phone prior to going out.
Jesus Christ. If I were a normal sex-having person, I'd think I was knocked up. I'm cycling through emotions like I'm in a decathlon to crazy.
in honor of breaking bad starting soon, i am now banging a walter white lookalike. viva heisenberg!
I just got stoned alone and repierced my nose. don't ever tell me I'm unaccomplished
I just got stoned by myself and am eating cookies so I'm right there with you
I mean, I Just Had Sex in 4 on her top 25 most played list. That's got to give you some indication
Somehow I just turned an entire McDonald's bag upside down in my car and not a single fry fell out. The Lord really does work in mysterious ways.
Randomize
