Well i just wrestled a cop... p.s. i won
My underwear smells like fireworks.
soo apparently i was out of money so i stayed in the bathroom for an hour-ish passing out paper towels for money..needless to say i got kicked out
Yeah, we spent most of the evening making fun of the drunk girl until we realized it was you.
Is it uncouth to have a themed intervention? I know how much you like Star Wars.
The fire department told the police that I was inside the burning building trying to pee in the rest of the electrical Outlets. Booyaka.
I took Xanax and it did nothing to me. First sign I'm crazy and actually need it.
how many times have i told you.. they dont like when you laugh during sex
I still can't get over the fact that he thinks I have my life together... That has to be one of the nicest yet most sadly misled things anyone has ever said about me
Or maybe I'll just keep introducing myself like, hello, they call me iane because I need the D. Applications are submitted online, women need not apply.
I'm trying to puke quietly so i don't ruin my grandma's birthday/my graduation brunch. And you say i need to grow up.
Dude, who WASN'T thinking of motorboating her?
My party ended early and I have a mountain of shrimp and weed
yeah i ran into him at the bar at 11pm. he started talking about engineering and the next thing i know it's 4am and i'm naked on top of him.
I just found an old slice of LIME in my wallet?????????
Randomize
