Lady with a stroller in a bar. Think she's out of my league?
you guys are cousins why the FUCK are your pants off
this episode of spongebob makes me wish crabby patties were real
When I woke up in the parking lot today I decided it is not a good idea to hang out with you anymore.
her cat was choking so she kept trying to stick her finger in her cat's mouth while saying "it's okay kitty, just do what mommy does"
Just threw the poptarts. Sgits boutta go Down. 1 liter of wine
No it was after you showed us his fraternaty letters shaven out of your pubes
She's the worst person, but the best naked person
I am lonely and I want to touch your beard
I know it's not technically the "Mile High Club" but we def need a name for the airport bathroom. Cuz that just happened.
The nausea has returned and I can't handle such things to exit my body so violently
Just caught myself trying to make grilled cheese with the stove off. I think my dad knows I'm high.
I don't think meeting his drug dealers counts as a relationship landmark.
Is it sacrilegious to take tequila shots on Saint Patrick's day?
I either have a problem or a really good solution... I just ordered my homecoming dress off of a website that sells forplay outfits.
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