I told my girl, that I use to jerk off to Star Trek. All she says is, "Oh my gawd, you're such a trekie!". If I was her, I'd be weirded out more than me being a Trek Fan.
love makes seman taste better
He wants to be 'in an open relationship'. Fuck that. That's the online equivalent of letting him pee in a circle around me.
i officially have more pictures of his dick than pictures of us together
I feel like the only solution to this is to get naked and lay in the shower for a hour then see what my penis wants to do.
Oh btw, my mom called... you made the police blotter in the newspaper. Don't worry, she's mailng me a copy so I can put in on the fridge.
Your tequila is gone. I suggest you bring more home before you go out for dinner. Money is taped to mailbox.
We are doing handstands and somersaults in the pool. With an inflatable beer pong table and our regular beer pong table. We're ponging by land and by sea
She's like my safety school. At the end of the night, if I haven't found anyone better to hook up with, I can always call her if I need a place to drop a load and don't want to rub one out myself. Perfect next door neighbor.
If drinking had a "new high score" I think I hit it this weekend.
Holy shit my cat won't leave the lube alone
im buying my prof a giftcard to the state store bc he talked ab crying into a glass of tequila so he deserves it
I love you. Go after that dick
so my parents definitely heard me when I was cumming last night...
gave up morals for lent, so far it's actually been really easy.
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