She has a concussion we think. Dancing to barbie girl.
I mean I found and stalk his moms facebook.. that obsessed.
She was crying and singing Taylor Swift on repeat. I'm never drinking with her again.
I just got home. Seriously all I remember is taking out my contacts and putting your balls in my mouth.
It's alarming how good I'm getting at being productive at work on Thursday after Johnny Walker Wednesdays.
I feel like after all he sees, the dog needs to get baptized.
She didn't need to know her brother was thrown out of a bar for getting head on the dance floor. You're a shit head.
I want morning sex. We can incorporate maple syrup into it somehow, it'll be fun
You should help rebuild my confidence with your dick. Altruism: Pass it on.
Woke up with a 6lb bucket of Redvines with a note that said "I'm sorry" care to explain?
You can't honestly expect me to maintain an erection when you have the Glen Beck show on
:(. i have vodka in a fire extinguisher. that solves all problems. except fires. it would actually make that worse.
WHY CANT I FIND JUST A NORMAL DISNEY LOVING MAN TO PAINT WITH ALL THE COLORS OF THE WIND WITH!!
whoever decided snowing in 90 percent of campus on a night when the streets are flowing with tequila and skittles was clearly not an R.A.
Did you come home, throw out a ton of shoes, then leave again?
That is exactly what I did.
Randomize
