A chick at the bar last night took my black berry, looked at my Brick Breaker score and told me she couldnt take someone that has a lower score than her seriously.
so i was dancing to the glee soundtrack with highheels. i tripped. and the dildo fell on my face. i dont know what happened.
The only thing that makes me want to stop the affair is that I am the Monica Lewinksy in this triangle.
You said, "can you make out with him for a little bit, I need a break."
there are some nice people on this island. free ride free pancakes and they even prayed for us when they dropped us off
going to a night class in lingerie so i can quickly go to his house after.
I'm sorry I compared your vagina to nascar
They broke our car window and then wrote "great night" on the next
dude, my hangover is telling me there was tequila involved
we got cupcakes after we fucked. gives a whole new meaning to sugar daddy
I'm literally beginning to think that my sex dreams are prophesies
I just started an apology with "so I'm sorry about throwing the Brita at your head last night..."
He's nice and all but I think I rather masturbate my way to happiness instead.
I can't dude. Last time I was there, I blew the bartender in the bathroom at last call.
He was all “please don’t bail because I’m missing work for this” last night
Honey no, I need dick. I’m not going to bail
Randomize
