Then all the boys were saying that they were amazed at how much i could smoke...i'm so proud of myself
we played lady & the tramp with a hash brown from McDonald's....im in love.
Just saw Youth in Revolt. There are only so many times Michael Cera can lose his virginity.
Do you remember trying to eat gravel when we were walking back to the dorm?
who said I'd never amount to anything...i just won 'most enthusiastic' at my poledancing class
I can't wait for round whatever # we're on tonight.
Oh god the guy I took underwear from at the bar is trying to add me as a friend on facebook now.
You fought the bouncer and lost, then challenged a hobo to a 40 chugging contest and lost. Sobriety is a good life choice.
why is there blood on my car? and are we still friends?
I'm still home, my life isn't together. Currently drying my pants
I met a guy last night who bought me a book on Amazon at the bar and then we had sex. Boners for books is a thing. Boom.
You're up at 3AM, right? I have a very important question.
You know the Wendy's on route 6, by Kohls? Do you know if it has a drive through?
Yes it does.
My fart just smelled like the inside of white castle, I mean spot on, no difference whatsoever.
His mom showed up at my doorstep, begging me to take him back for him
Where do you find these people?
Clothing is a burden necessitated by propriety.
Randomize
