garbage
garbage dick
rubbish cock
you win
walkin home..,.jsut saw the cheshire cat
watch out for the queen of hearts
fuucck i forgot ab her
I feel like if I were on Intervention, I would have to be a season finale.
His dick was poking my bladder. That big...
To the person who left a cup of vomit in the bathroom: I commend you for your aim but you are dead to me- not an ideal birthday present.
I really need to stop drunk texting. My one night stand just agreed to go roller skating.
I think my hand is broken. But his nose definitely is
You're right. Single life welcomed me back with open arms. It's like it knew it wasnt going to be long when I left.
We decided it was acceptable to walk out of class on a quest for Doritos. That high.
Both of our knuckles were split open this morning when I came out of the blackout, the column on the porch has two new cracks in it, were like the redneck Super Smash Bros.
Yep if he's taking selfies he's probably on drugs again.
FINE YOU CAN EAT HOT WINGS WHILE WE HAVE SEX
I cant go through life without knowing what ginger pubes actually look like
Did your grand seduction include learning to play careless whisper on a kazoo or was that just a hobby
You'll never fully grasp an awkward walk of shame until you run into his mom while you're trying to sneak out. Then to make matters worse you have to ask her to mover car because it's blocking you in.
and I lost my effing shirt.
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