JOSHUA! WE ARE SO BREAKING UP!
what?
YOU'RE DRUNK AGAIN, ARENT YOU?!
Every time he makes fun of me for anything I just remind myself he ate ice cream out of a strippers vagina
I told him that all frat guys do it... it was that easy to get him to go down on me.
You puked in the drive thru of Taco Bell. You puked as it was being handed to me. You managed to yell out "FIRE SAUCE" in between hurls.
No, the weekend was great. It was the waking up in the pond in the raft without an oar that sucked. That fucking water is cold at 7am.
Seriously. We gorilla glued our hands together. Eating pizza last night was impossible.
thanks for piggy backing me around for the rest of the night when I got too drunk to stand.
Well you fished my watch out of a possibly vomit filled toilet so I think we're bros now.
I now have a other guy willing to drive 3 hours for my vagina. At my next gyno appointment I'm asking her if there's cocaine in there.
They live across the street from a school baseball field so they have porter potties across the street and let's just say that I'm grateful they exist
im not letting a little injury get in the way of my alcoholic/drug problems. we ARE getting turnt tonight.
You have not lived until you've had your brains fucked out on a broken down Tunnel of Love ride. Life is good.
I just want to sit in my tub, drugged out of my mind, and watch the green lantern cartoon while the world as we know it ceases to exist outside my bathroom door, Okay? Is that REALLY too much to ask?
Vacuum the place before you go out of town there are random glitter cocks everywhere
You kept yelling stranger danger at Nick because he was talking to that girl you didn't like. Your not invited ever again.
Randomize
