Maybe i should go to church more so i can meet girls like in that song, you know, the ones that act slutty on every day but sunday...
ah, so the catholic church. i gotcha
You know you love balls. Don't act all "I-Don't-Love-Balls-ish"
My mom just told me that after i turned eight i stopped growing mentally and emotionally
I just saw a girl walk by me wearing a "kiss me I'm pro choice" shirt. Is that a signal for easy access?
I've hooked up with 3 different guys already this week...don't tell me I haven't been a productive member of society
We were sitting in my backseat and he just kept biting me and telling me we weren't at the zoo...
She's got a butler. A fucking butler. Shes like batman, but with a better ass.
We have six bottles of wine and we are at target buying baby oil to grease up the sleds with, just in case you're interested.
First memory of my senior year: Going into registration still drunk from last night.
Is it morally wrong to give today's hookup a Krispy Kreme from yesterday's hookup or is it just fat love?
I need you to go into my room and get some pants then bring them and four band aids to Sam's apartment no questions
The exact people you expect to find at a bar at 2pm are here. Come visit. We'd really like the company.
2 weeks into this dating someone with money thing and I already don't know if I can go back to the being poor life
he'll eat me out, but god forbid we double dip when sharing salsa
He grabbed at it like it was a stress ball or something. It's a boob, not a grapefruit. The fuck.
Randomize
