So when jo picked me up from the bar I kept apologizing and kept telling her "I'm just a wittle donut"
the only reason I knew his name is because half way through I looked up and it was tatooed on his chest.
can you explain how you are here for one night and now my kitchen table is in 11 pieces..
She just sent me videos of her blowing my little bro and my best friend... worst. ex. ever.
Using his name makes it all too personal. I refuse to get attached to this one. This is all about ass. He doesn't get a name.
no one could get around him on the stairs cause he surrounded himself with all the empties he could find, he said he was building a fort. then he passed out on them.
I vaguely remember having a cowboy explain his belt buckle to me in the bathroom hallway
I received a text promising me sex if I drove to Memphis this weekend. Too bad for my penis that we're watching zombie movies and playing cards.
Well I don't think you can suck his dick while he's making pizza. I think that goes against some health codes.
We were in the middle of a serious discussion about social justice and he pulled sequins out of his teeth and kept talking like nothing had happened.
Maybe you should stop dating for awhile if the chicks aren't working out. Reacquaint yourself with your hand or something.
Today I learned that I have a bigger dick than Draymond Green
If you ever tell anyone I offered you boob squeezes for cheetos, I'll kill you
She super glued his penis to his testicles. And shaved off a good portion of his hair after he passed out at the party.
The highlight of my week is I found some hetero porn I didn't completely hate. Branching out.
Randomize
