My sheets at my parents place are clean. No braveheart but I can paint myself, yell "freedom", and sword fight you with my cock. So come over.
i hope my daughter doesn't end up with cankles. no guy likes cankles.
yay america 4th of july drinking game. take a drink every time you hear or see a firework, finish your drink for a mention of mj or the gosselins, a shot for the words democracy,hope, freedom, terrorism
he asked me to help him wrap his girlfriends birthday presents. Dont worry we fucked right after.
obviously my correlation between being a pro surfer and being extremely good in bed was 100% wrong.
I wish straight boys touched me the way gay boys do.
At what point did you actually think that you could throw knives safely?
You called in. Quitter. You stayed at home naked drinking again didnt you.
Omg. The nephews found my stripper pole. The scary part is theyre good at it.
Last night you told me to stop being Martha Stewart and asked if I had Taco Bell in my house
I was just laughing and almost crying after I orgasmed, and then almost crying because I was laughing so hard. That's new.
Does he think you're psycho?
Officially...... yes.
They're basically the Kennedys. This is the family I fucked in to. I'm so proud of my vagina as much as it feels shitty for my heart.
I would eat the Denny's grand slam special out of my new probation officers b hole
I'm sorry I called your mother a reasonably-priced receptacle.
I just remembered I casually gave you a tour of the house after we boned...lol
Randomize
