The only way im leaving this casino is in a golden chariot or an ambulance
i told him he had the best dick i've ever seen. then supposedly i kept repeating "peter piper picked the perfect penis"
I just fucked a rockette. This would have been amazing a week ago.
They are providing beer and having a margarita machine. This cannot be passed up.
The only thing worse than listening to you two fuck all night was waking up and smelling bacon and there not being any left.
If youre the one that ate my brownies this morning I only have two things to say to you
Those had pot in them
And good luck on your interview asshole
and you will have a crown and it will be made of penises and all will bow before you and your glorious penis crown
I need to figure out how to tell my doctor that I don't want to fix my possible fertility problems until AFTER I'm done whoring around in my 20s.
some fat dude with wolverine facial hair just walked out of your room with a snuggie. explanation needed.
Drunkasaurus has found a new cave to eat all the children she captured
I need to get you away from Bacardi 151 and out from under the bed
My only regret is that I have but one penis to give to your vagina.
Mom got high last night and started crying because she feels bad for Paula Deen. This is my family.
Can I join you for some emotional "Post: The Ohio State University's first lose in football after a 24 game winning streak" sex?
He started yelling terms of endearment at a cheese sandwich. Then he tried to hump it.
I visited the library for the first time in my college career tonight and I got laid. I think I'm gonna come back...
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