Nice. Sry i missed. Also sorry that i pissed on my toothbrush last nite
Sink seemed easy target but balance was no good
are you so shy because you have an std?
I'm sorry that you don't think that "Daddy Issues" are a real thing, but I can tell you that some assholes who never went to their daughter's dance recitals are responsible for getting me laid...continuously.
I have all these new brothers and sisters I'm just now finding out about
4 maple syrup blunts. Decided to sit on my roof and count the snowflakes that landed on my tongue. 84.
Who would win... a chainsaw pooping pterodactyl or a bear with machine guns for feet. big debate about this right now
youre not allowed to be friends with girls ive double teamed. period.
Hung over. Bed full of legos for some reason. Not getting up. Come build stuff with me.
Seriously why is the deadbolt locked. This is the second time I'm having to sleep on the porch using my boots as my pillow. I can't wait till the next time your drunk.
Shhh, I'm sleeping. Just let it happen Jess.
I found what appears to be half an E pill and part of a tooth in my pocket this morning
God, for the last time, no I did not break my nose doing a keg-stand just for a nose job.
he needs to stop knowing everyone on campus...it's making cheating on him really difficult.
Bro. I traded my coat. I have a Raiders coat now.
Oh you mean the girl that gave me a black eye when I told her I liked her fake eyelashes?
I always want to see you. Honestly my only hesitation is that my ass is still kind of sore from Sunday 🥺
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