I just fell asleep with a sandwich in my mouth at Cosi..people definitely saw
you ever get that eerie feeling when you walk in a room, when you know youve barfed here before.
I just cleaned your Jaeger vomit off my car with a knife. Don't ever say I don't love you.
He was in a gay KY jelly commercial. Jew male model. Reasons not to sleep with him. Go.
I have realized now that neither the top nor bottom of a bunk bed is safe for sex....
He painted his chest for the game... I just fucked an exclamation point.
Heating the house with the oven may not be safe but at least it's always preheated
Ok say I was sexually attracted to a patient who also happens to be in high school...on how many levels is that illegal? And will I actually hear the laws break when I fuck him
Recently successful and happy relationships are at an all time high now that you are no longer fucking so many peoples girlfriends. You alone have changed the mating patterns in the lower half of our county.
You need to stop relating my life to your schoolwork. But tell my girlfriend that she'd be proud.
I'm going to be fiscally responsible and buy a handle.
He asked if I had feelings for him while I was lying naked on the floor vomiting into a trashcan as he held my hair and fed me Pringles.
Is it socially acceptable to break up with someone over snapchat?
Actually going to jail after your wedding is NOT part of the plan.
I came on her face and asked if she wanted fries with that. Currently driving to McDonald's.
We should have a mid-burrito sex-break, too. Just so we don't get too full all at once
Good point.
Randomize
