And secondly i just said i'd pay ten dollars to have sex with you
mike has just informed me of all the things he would put in his pussy if he was a woman. this includes door stops, power drills & g.i. joes.
"and then my dad would be all like 'hey mike, where's the remote?'"
We played Russian Roulette with a revolving Nerf gun. If you shot yourself in the face, you had to drink.
Wow, So this kid just walked into class, yak'd on his lab partner then runs out. Class is now cancelled. I gotta find this kid and Thank him.
All I remember is holding on to the elevator asking it politely to stop spinning
All I remember was after sex she kept trying to take pictures of my dick "for memories"
Whoever brought the pigeon, please come and remove it from my living room.
Fuck I keep finding new battle scars from our fight. Justin told me I stabbed you with a broom handle.. Do you remember ripping my pants off?
She said we couldnt stop drinking until there were enough bottles to make a fort. so we could have sex in our "bottle castle"
in a last ditch attempt to make life awkward after i die today i want to be buried naked and have an open casket funeral.
You told the entire smokers deck that you were blowing .08 now and anyone else willing later
haha all our friends are at the carnival and I'm on stage dry humping a 40 year old
Made him watch 4 hours of HGTV then told him I was too tired for sex.
Savage
So high I legit spent 20mins in the shower just holding my tits cuz they feel bigger than normal.
She called a 10 year old handsome and we gave her a look that was equal parts confused and “what the hell is wrong with you”
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