Her cum face looks like the large marge scene in pee-wees big adventure
guys are not supposed to queef...right?
She was wearing a shirt that said "Just Do Me", holding a half of a bottle of Vodka, and was screaming at her friends "PUSSY JUST SWALLOW!" before she chugged the rest of the bottle.
Dude, if you don't take her, I will.
My 10 year old son gave me a bottle of jameson for fathers day. Did you have something to do with this?
I don't think anyone could emotionally handle a numb vagina.
Let's cut to the chase. What days are we sleeping together this week?
Just used "I used to work as an inflatable toy operator" as a pick up line. Freshman frenzy is great...
Lots of alcohol. 3rd graders fuck me now.
Auto correct or actual 3rd graders?
2nd fun fact: he has a square tan line around his dick.
ur not supposed to find someone to make out with when ur bf takes u to his SISTERS house to hang out with her and her husband
I just got into the cab. It smells like weed and the driver looks like someone who may or may not be really talented at playing the saxophone. He also asked me my thoughts on porn when I told him I'm an actor. I might not make it home.
I have the starring role in a literal shit show.
My liver is fucking rocky. Get knocked down 7 times and gets up 8. World champ
Hypothetically speaking, at what point does fire become too much fire?
Today some guy at work told me I had the nicest hair he's ever seen and my response was "thanks I grew it myself". This is why I'm single.
Randomize
