and thats when i went through the window and a shard of glass got stuck in my ass. the doctor said it was the best injury hed seen all month. i am a champion of life.
if i died would you start the facebook group?
Whoever said that a man can only cum up to 8 times a day is a fucking liar...or was never on adderall
I'm gonna have sex with a woman...help
i have wind burn on my face from my head hanging out the window of the cab vomitting
Will you be topless? That will affect my answer.
Did you pluck my eyebrows one night when I passed out?
You convinced us both to take shots of jack Daniels through our eyes.
You tried to put a condom on my dog, then he ate it.
Shots. Renamed a guy (he looked like a Scott to me), running, bloody Marys, walk to Safeway, donuts, ride home from someones husband, Nurse Jackie. FIN.
Thats the last time im "arresting" you to get out of paying your bar tab.
What?! The only reason I married your sister is to have a Cop in the family!
He was kissing me at red light while his penis was in an aluminum beer bottle peeing..
Your mission, should you decide to accept it, is to pick up rum, beer, and cigarettes. Your holiday will self-destruct if you ignore this message.
WHO DOES THAT ON A TUESDAY? This is not a Drake joke, the girl doesn't turn up OR down. She doesn't do anything.
Just calm down. My foot long super joint and I will be over shortly.
Randomize
